Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
