Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
