I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
