mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
