Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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