i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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