im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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