Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
