I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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