In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
