The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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