i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
