if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize