this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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