i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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