I want to stick my p in your. b.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
