I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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