I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
