i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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