M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
