i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize