i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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