its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
