I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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