this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
