Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
