i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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