so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
