no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize