I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
