Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
