As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
