I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
