Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
