Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
