I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
