I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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