Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
