Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
