you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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