Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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