I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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