You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do vagina's smell?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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