Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
