Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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