Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize