Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
