It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
