Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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