I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
