I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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