fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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