operation harelip BJ is a go
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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