we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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