Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize