You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
