when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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