I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
