i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
